


Regrets and Second Chances

by Vicki_g_queen



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive John Winchester, Alternate Universe, American Football Player Castiel (Supernatural), Bisexual Dean Winchester, Hate Crimes, Homophobia, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Openly Gay Castiel (Supernatural), Punk Dean Winchester, Violence, Young Dean Winchester, Young Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23944306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vicki_g_queen/pseuds/Vicki_g_queen
Summary: Castiel has settled into life post-high school pretty well, he almost forgot about the events that unfolded his senior year... that is until a familiar face shows up at his door asking for his help. Castiel will have to attempt to make up for his past mistakes and repair an old friendship, or he hopes, maybe to repair something more.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning there is aggression and violence against a character because of their sexuality and there is homophobic language and the f-slur used. Also the link i provided leads to a photo edit i made for this fic if you want a visual aid <3

<https://souperunaturalsammy.tumblr.com/post/616910531470737408/regrets-and-second-chances-vickigqueen>

Castiel Novak gets out of the hot shower and wraps a towel around his waist. He leaves the bathroom and heads toward the couch. He doesn't worry about getting dressed, he has the whole place to himself after all. Silently he thanks his parents for helping him get a two bedroom apartment straight out of highschool. Not a lot of kids have parents that are willing or able to help them out like that. He strolls across the room and peers out the dark window. Thunder rolls outside and rain pounds the window. It’s going to be a long night… Castiel hates thunderstorms.  
He shrugs, flops onto the couch and flips the TV on. He cranks the volume in an attempt to drown out the storm. It doesn’t help… he sighs and stares at the ceiling.  
“Fuck!” he nearly shouts. He rolls onto his side and looks toward the television when suddenly he hears BANG! BANG! BANG! The sound of someone beating on his door startles him and he lets out a yelp, followed by a string of cursing and the thought that he didn't spend six months in a police academy to get scared by someone knocking on his door at night. Even if it is 1am already.  
He stands and wonders for a moment if he should throw on a pair of sweats or something. Nah, he decides he’ll check the door as is. It's not like he's shy, he checks his reflection in the window and mumbles to himself “no reason to hide all this”, he chuckles to himself and walks over and swings the door open.  
He opens the door to a man standing a little taller than himself and looking… really rough to be honest, it takes him a moment to recognize the guy. The man’s face is swollen and bruised beyond recognition and blood covers his mouth and the front of his clothes. Castiel is taken aback, if it weren't for the piercings and green hair he never would've ventured a guess at who it could be… but he does recognize him. “Dean?! Dean Winchester!” he gasps. The man in front him sways back and forth as if he can barely hold himself up and mumbles “... didn’t know where else to go…” he barely gets the words out before he lists forward and Castiel catches him.  
This can’t be happening, Castiel begins panicking as he carries his former classmate inside and places him on the couch. He runs to his room and throws on some sweatpants and grabs his first aid kit from his room, “should I call 911 or drive him to the hospital?” he wonders aloud. As he kneels by the couch and attempts to wipe some of the blood away from Dean’s mouth Dean mumbles, “can’t..”  
“Can’t what?!” Castiel implores.  
“can’t go to the hospital… no cops... he’ll… he’ll get in trouble”  
“Who?!?” Castiel feels a familiar protective and angry feeling creeping into his stomach.. A feeling he stamped down in the past many times, but this is different, he’s just a cop worried about a civilian, right? Dean continues mumbling, bringing Castiel back from his head.  
“John…”  
“John?.... John!?!.... Your dad did this?!?! I’m gonna go and I'm gonna…”  
Dean interrupts him, “Cas.. Buddy, please it's fine… I don’t want this…” Dean inhales sharply “to turn into a big thing...”  
Castiel’s stomach turns over at the nickname and turns again at the thought of letting that piece of shit John Winchester get away with this….  
Dean whispers, “Cassy… please?”  
Castiel’s heart melts a little and he complies… for now, “ok, ok, let's just get you cleaned up ok?” He forces what he hopes is a reassuring smile. ‘Here let me help you… then I'll go grab you some clothes and you can go take shower, the bathroom is just over there…” Castiel gestures towards the door across the room. Dean gives a tiny smile and winces as Castiel begins cleaning up his face. As he works old memories start to resurface… this really is going to be a long night isn’t it?

Approx. 16 months earlier…  
Castiel tosses his helmet and shoulder pads on top of his locker and smiles down the hallway, smiling back at him is none other than Lawrene's very own Punk KidTM, Dean Winchester.  
“Hey Cas, what's up tough guy?” Dean throws a couple of playful shoulder punches.  
Castiel finds it hard to focus on Dean’s words when his lips look so lovely forming them… “Hello, Dean.” Castiel says in an unnecessarily graveley voice.  
Dean laughs and Castiel watches it sparkle in his eyes. “Why do you always sound so serious, Cassy?” Dean laughs again as he walks away, and Castiel smiles again and shakes his head as he gets into his locker to get his stuff around and head home.  
Someone slams his locker shut and nearly catches his hands inside. He whips around to face a few of his football “buddies”.  
“Hello, Michael, Raphael, Uriel.” he nods curtly towards each of them.  
“Hey Cassy!” Michael mocks much to the others delight, Uriel laughs way louder than the joke is funny and Raphael chimes in “Yeah what's up Cas!” He nearly spits the nickname.  
Castiel feels his shoulders tighten, this is the only Friday that they don't have a game or football practice and he's not wasting his afternoon on this bullshit. He says as calmly as he can “You guys aren’t allowed to call me that…it’s Castiel.”  
“Oh yeah?” Michael snorts, “Then why do you let that freak faggot call you that, hm?”  
He flinches at the word “Don’t call him that” Castiel bites out.  
“Why not Cassy? That's what he is, don't forget that…” Michael might as well have vomited the words with the way they made Castiel feel…  
“Yeah,” croons Raphael, “Unless… you’re a little fag too?” The trio laughs hard at that one.  
At that Castiel shoves Raphael across the hall, “Leave me alone,” Cas spits, “or I’ll show you something fucking funny!”  
The three boys sulk away and Uriel mumbles “iss jus a joke Castiel.. I don't know why you care about that guy anyways..” Castiel shakes his head, his teammates can be real assholes, but they know he could easily whip any one of them so they usually aren't that ballsy… Hopefully they find their cool, because he really doesn’t want to fight with his teammates and have them ostracize him. He slings his bag over his shoulder and heads toward the doors…

Present  
Castiel shakes his head, he’s standing in front of his closet staring at his high school backpack. He rubs his hand over his face and gives his head one more shake for good measure and then grabs his old football jersey and some sweats. The jersey is worn out perfectly so it's soft but not ratty, he wonders if Dean will appreciate that and then rolls his eyes, Dean is only here because he has nowhere else. Castiel can’t forget that, he’s lucky he’s even getting to see Dean again, he can’t push his luck.  
He walks out into the living room just as Dean enters the other side from the bathroom. Castiel is a bit relieved, without the dirt and blood Dean looks to be in better shape than he originally thought. “Much better shape…” he thinks as his eyes skate from Dean’s face down his body… Dean has a towel slung low on his hips with some light ab definition peeking through his skin, he's covered in freckles just like Castiel imagined and... He snaps back to reality “Are your NIPPLES PIERCED?!?” Castiel says with more than a hint of shock and a sound somewhere between a choke and a laugh.  
Dean chuckles and rolls his eyes, “Yeah,” he shrugs. “I’ve already got a few on my face I thought I’d spread ‘em out.. What? You like it?” Dean winks and chuckles.  
Castiel blanches and feels the heat start rising in his face, “What? No... I just… I thought that like hurt a lot… or whatever…” He’s sweating now. Dean laughs and his green eyes sparkle. “Here!” Castiel chucks the clothes at Dean, hoping to cover that cocksure grin, a grin he has to admit that he has missed. He turns on his heel and heads back into his bedroom. He sits on his bed and buries his face in his hands, wondering what he did to deserve this… and then he remembers… but now isn’t the time for a trip down memory lane, Castiel has a serious situation on his hands and he needs to focus.  
First things first, what is he trained to do as an officer? Take John WInchester into custody… can’t do that, Dean asked him not too. Ok, so what then? Let Dean stay here for the foreseeable future? Mend things broken by Castiel’s own stupidity? Possibly repair their friendship, or even more? No , as appealing as that is Dean is too good for that, When it comes down to it Castiel wants to believe he is good enough, but he also knows better… He can try to explain away what happened or justify it with “good intentions”, but in the end, he is bad and Dean is good, Dean deserves to be around people who are always there for him like… shit, Sam... Sam! Castiel realizes probably too late that he has neglected to get a hold of the only person that truly matters to Dean…his younger brother, Sam Winchester.

Sam is pacing the floor, he is freaking the fuck out. He stays at a friend’s house once and misses Dean’s call ONCE and now he has no idea where Dean is or what Dad did to him. All Sam knows is Dean seemed in really bad shape in the voicemail and all he said was “.. it’s kinda bad Sammy… Don’t worry… I got an idea... somewhere to go..” Sam has called everyone he knows and not a single person seems to have the slightest clue as to where Dean is. At this point Sam is considering calling the police.. and/or murdering their father. His mind keeps racing through all of the worst case scenarios, many involving Dean dead on the side of the road somewhere. Sam needs to breathe, he’s losing control, he tries calming himself, but still ends up feeling nearly homicidal. His phone rings. It's a number he doesn’t recognize. He answers it cautiously, “Hello.” a voice that he recognizes but can't place replies.  
“Hello? Is this Sam WInchester?”  
“Yes, what? I’m a bit busy right now.” he snaps.  
“Thank god, I’ve got Dean here and he’s in pretty rough shape, he’s asleep on the couch right now… I’m concerned he may have sustained a concussion, but he was adamant that he did not want to be taken to the hospital. I…” Sam interrupts the caller.  
“Who the fuck is this, and where is my brother?”  
“Oh,” the caller whispers, “shoulda opened with that huh…”  
“Spit it out, NOW!” Sam shouts into the phone, his patience rapidly growing thinner.  
“Ok, 900 Maple Avenue, apartment B… and this is Castiel… Castiel Novak…”  
Sam feels white hot rage rise in his stomach “You’re fucking dead, Novak.” he says in a voice thats too calm for Castiel’s liking “Shit” he says as Sam hangs up the phone.

Castiel is watching out the front window when Sam pulls up in the impala, he’s a bit surprised that Dean let him use his precious car, but that explains why Dean arrived on foot… The car door slams interrupting Castiel’s train of thought, “I’m gonna fucking die” he mumbles to himself… Sam is big, Bigger than Castiel. They played football together for a year, and though Sam is usually quiet, he plays like a beast. He stands a whole head taller than Castiel. Very tall for a tenth grader, the kid is basically pure muscle. And right now he’s also pure rage…

Sam walks up to the door labeled b and knocks hard. The door rattles on its hinges. He can hear who he assumes to be the asshole himself talking and walking towards the door. He can’t wait till it opens so he can punch that motherfucker right in his stupid face.

The knock on the door is terrifying and very loud, Castiel fears that he is about to be beaten up by a sixteen year old. He hears Dean stirring on the couch, probably awakened by the knocking. Castiel turns around and Dean is sitting up, “Who is it?” he asks. “Sam” Castiel replies. Dean smiles at him and says, “How ‘bout I handle this one buddy?” Castiel nods knowing that the only way this doesn't end with Sam attacking an officer is if Dean talks him down. Dean walks slowly to the door and opens it. Sam’s face immediately goes from a terrifying expression of rage to the face of a scared little kid, a tear slips down his cheek. “Dean?” he whispers, “I was so scared..”  
Dean pulls his brother into a hug and says, “I know, Sammy, I know”

Castiel feels like he’s intruding on something and starts to back up when Sam looks up and locks eyes with him, “Shit” Castiel mutters as Sam lunges forward grabbing at Castiel. Castiel jumps over the kitchen counter in an attempt to put something between himself and Sam. Cas is yelling apologies and asking for mercy as Sam screams a string of basically unintelligible insults and profanities and quickly Dean has had more than enough. He shouts over the two “STOP! I swear to god I’m gonna hit ya both!” The bickering men look at Dean, Castiel looks ashamed and Sam looks indignant. Sam is the first to break the awkward and tense silence that befell the room. “Come on Dean, let’s go home. We don't need to deal with this!” he hisses the last word and jerks his thumb behind him in Castiel’s direction.  
“I can’t go home Sam” Dean sighs and shakes his head “I’m sorry”  
Sam furrows his brow “Why the hell not?”  
“Dad knows…”  
Sam’s face grows pale, “He knows…?” he trails off…  
Dean nods “Why do you think he did this?” he gestures to the bruises and cuts covering his arms, neck, upper chest, and face, bruises that more than likely cover more than just these exposed areas of skin.  
Sam’s eyes start to water, “Dean, what are we gonna do?” He starts to cry and suddenly looks so small and scared. Castiel remembers how young Sam is and how scary this must all be, he wants to help them, no, he needs to help them. Before he even fully thinks about what he’s about to say he says it, “You guys could stay here.” Sam whips around and stares Castiel in the face “Why would we want to stay with you?!” Castiel looks at the ground turning red at the ears he begins apologizing, “I’m sorry, I should have known better, and I…”  
Dean interrupts him “Thanks, Cassy. We’d be so grateful to stay here.” Sam’s mouth drops open and he looks at Dean with a look that very obviously means WTF, but Dean just gives him a canned smile and says, “Where else would we stay?”  
Sam looks around and says,”I don’t know? Anywhere but with this piece of shit!” Castiel winces.  
Dean shakes his head “Sam,” he says, “we have nowhere to go and we can’t camp in the car while Dad cools down, because this time he’s not gonna calm down… You can go back there, but he will kill me if I do…”  
Sam looks ashamed as he realizes that Dean is right, “Ok, let me get my shit from the car.” And with that Sam walks out the door. Dean looks at Castiel and forces a laugh, “Brothers am I right?” he walks over and lays down on the couch. Castiel sits in a recliner… He is definitely paying the penance for his sins tonight.

Approx. 16 months ago…  
Dean is excited, Cas asked him to come watch him play tonight. Dean ruffles his hair in the mirror and squeezes some hair gel into his hand, he wants to look his best tonight. He spikes his hair into little green spikes and lines his lower lashline with black eyeliner. Yeah he definitely has more than a little crush on the star of the football team. Sam walks up and leans on the door frame. “Dad’s going to be pissed if he sees you wearing eyeliner,” he says with concern.  
“I know that’s why he’s not going to see me”  
“How do you plan on pulling that off?”  
Dean rolls his eyes and stuffs makeup wipes in his bag. “I leave before Dad gets home from the shop and wipe it off in the bathroom at the game before I come home, easy.”  
Sam nods and says, “Ok, you know I just worry” and begins to walk away “I gotta get ready for the game, it’s my first year on varsity gotta get there early so the coach will like me.”  
Dean smiles and heads out. He wants to get there early too…  
Castiel is already geared up before the others have even arrived. He walks and stands under the bleachers, waiting. His face lights up when he sees Dean, he looks good tonight… really good. Dean saunters up to Castiel and winks, “What do you think, ya like?”  
Castiel turns red and nods while mumbling a small “yes, you look very nice this evening...”.  
Dean laughs and stands close in front of him, “You excited for the game, Cas?” He gives him an excited smile. Castiel nods and says “I’m really glad you could make it, Dean.” Dean feigns hurt “What you thought I wouldn’t come and support my friend, and don't forget my baby brother is playing too..” he teases. Castiel is so caught up watching Dean’s theatrics and Dean is so caught up performing them that neither notices someone watching from above them, on the bleachers. Castiel takes a deep breath and says “Hey, Dean?” Dean looks at him with a bit of concern, “Yeah, Cassy?” Castiel squares himself up and looks Dean in the eyes. Dean tips his head to the side and looks at Castiel with perplexion, but this doesn’t deter Castiel. He is a man on a mission, he’s been playing this moment out in his head for weeks and he must go through with it. He places his hands on Dean’s shoulders and stares hard into those beautiful, confusion filled green eyes. And he does it. He pulls Dean towards him and he kisses him hard on the mouth. It feels like fireworks are going off in his stomach and sounds like water rushing past his ears. He feels Dean’s hands move onto his sides and Castiel wraps his arms around him, Dean responds by deepening the kiss. After what feels like forever and five seconds all at once, they pull away from each other and Dean laughs, “You could’ve just told me you liked me, but I appreciate the movie like drama. See you after the game.” he winks and smiles a beautiful grin that leaves Castiel’s knees weaker than they already were as he walks away. Castiel smiles a small smile to himself and walks back to the locker room. His stupid head filled with thoughts of green eyes, tattoos and freckles, he thinks to himself that one day he’s going to count all of those freckles…

Present  
Sam is seated on one side of the room in a kitchen chair, he’s leaned forward on his knees and he’s staring with great intensity at the other side of the room. On the other side of the room Castiel is seated in his favorite recliner, though right now he does not feel comfortable, his eyes dart everywhere except for the unwavering gaze coming from the kitchen chair. The room is dead silent except for the quiet breathing coming from the sleeping man on the couch. Castiel tries to clear his throat a little but it ends up coming out as a strangled squeak… he glances momentarily at Sam and, yep he’s still giving him the death stare. He resumes looking around randomly and occasionally shifting uncomfortably. Sam reaches up and scratches the back of his neck, still not breaking his gaze at the man he blames for Dean’s and his own current situation. Both men’s gazes immediately snap towards the couch as Dean begins to stir. Dean rolls over from his stomach onto his back and slowly sits up. He reaches up to rub the sleep from his eyes but winces in pain when his hand meets a black eye. He blinks a couple times and looks around. Sam and Castiel are staring at him like he’s a sand castle that’s beginning to crumble. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Dean mumbles as he stands and walks toward the bathroom. The two others look at each other and then down as their faces warm. “Sorry, Dean…” Sam mumbles. Dean grunts and enters the bathroom. Castiel coughs and Sam returns to giving Castiel a look that could kill. Castiel clears his throat and looks Sam in the eye, “Look,” he starts, “I understand that this is hard and that we aren’t on the best of terms, but let’s just…”  
Sam snaps, “NO! You don’t understand, you can’t understand, you’ve got TWO parents who love you and accept you for who you are. You don’t know what it's like to be in my position, and you CERTAINLY don’t know what it’s like to be in Dean’s! You have no idea how hard it is. He raised me, we have no mother and a father that hasn't stopped drinking since her death! Dean raised me on his own, he is a hero and all he gets in return is beaten and kicked onto the streets. I bet John NEVER would’ve known that Dean was bi if YOUR DUMB ASS hadn’t kissed him at FUCKING GAME FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!” Sam huffs loudly, “Don’t pretend for even a second that you’ve got any idea what we are going through!” Dean walks out of the bathroom “That’s enough Sam, Cas ain’t got a damn thing to do with Mom or the way Dad is! And Dad would’ve found out eventually anyways… I couldn’t hide who I was forever...” Sam looks at the tile floor under his feet, he looks ashamed of his outburst and sad that he upset Dean. Castiel sniffles a bit. He can't stop the tears from streaming down his face, he regrets his mistakes… he’s so sorry. Dean looks Castiel in the eyes and walks over to him. “It’s not your fault…” Dean soothes. Castiel is disgusted with himself, here he is making everything about his damn self. “No,” he says firmly “Sam is right, I am the bad guy here.” Castiel stands and walks into his bedroom, he looks back at Sam who is looking at him with an unreadable expression, and then at Dean who looks hurt. Fuck, of course Castiel has hurt him again. A tear slides down Dean’s cheek “Cas…” he whispers. Castiel shuts his bedroom door.

Approx. 16 months ago…  
The game is loud, and Dean is loving it. He purchases himself a bag of popcorn and weaves his way through the ever growing crowd. First game of the season, it’s bound to be packed. He sees some open spaces in the front of the bleachers and works his way towards them. He takes his seat, it's cold so he removes his leather coat and sits on top of it. He watches as everyone gets ready for the game.  
Castiel Jogs onto the field, leading his team through a banner, he wonders to himself what it said. The combination of the cheerleaders, the band, and the crowd makes for a deafening sound, but Castiel is totally calm and the only sound he hears is Dean’s laugh playing in his head. The team reaches the bench and Castiel looks toward the bleachers, where Dean sits in the front and smiles at Castiel. He can’t help but smile, he thinks to himself how Dean’s eyes and hair are the same color...  
After the game Dean stands under the bleachers in the same spot he and Cas stood earlier that very night. He smiles to himself, he’s so relieved that Cas feels the same about him… Dean had worried many times that he was an idiot and that Cas was just very kind. But now he is sure, he and Cas are together now, right? His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of footsteps. At first he hopes it's Cas but he very quickly realizes that these are the footsteps of about three people. Dean whips around to face three football players. Even in the dark he knows who they are, “Howdy stooges, Michael, Raphael, and let me think for a minute… oh it's right there, it’s on the tip of my tongue… oh well it doesn't matter, I might as well call you all Michael, since you collectively possess one brain cell anyways.” Dean rolls his eyes, smirks and crosses his arms. Uriel looks around, visibly offended.  
Michael snorts and replies, “ Very funny Fag.”  
Dean’s face flashes from a look of confusion and a bit of fear quickly back to a steely expression “What makes you say that.” he feigns confidence.  
“Well before we just suspected you were a cocksucker, I mean what kind of guy wears eyeliner, but now we know for sure.” Michael smiles and holds up his phone.  
Dean looks at the screen and watches a video of him and Cas kissing, “How’d you..?”  
“I noticed Castiel was ready early and heading this way so I followed and watched from the bleachers… Castiel isn’t a faggot like you ya know..” Michael stares Dean down.  
“Well, he’s the one who kissed me, so I wouldn’t be so sure.” Dean smirks and tries to keep his confident exterior up.  
Michael slaps Dean across the face “Castiel is just confused, so we are going to save him… from you.”  
“How ya gonna do that, hm?” Dean asks, standing himself with his fists up, no longer keeping his tone steady.  
Michael smiles a smile that sends a shiver down Dean’s spine, “You’re about ta find out”  
Uriel brings a length of copper pipe out from behind his back and says “ by the way, if you tell Castiel about this or speak to him ever again, we leak that video and ruin you both.”

Castiel walks around the field looking for Dean, he thinks Dean probably is back under the bleachers. Castiel isn’t sure why he didn’t think to check there first. As he walks he thinks that he should have met up with Dean immediately after the games conclusion but one of the other players insisted on wasting his time with a meaningless and drawn out conversation. He walks under the bleachers but no one is there… It's so dark... Castiel is soaked with sweat so the night breeze chills him to the bone. He shoots Dean a text asking where he is and waits there for two hours. His phone rings and for a second Castiel is filled with excitement, but it’s just his mother. He answers, “Hello”  
“Hey sweetie, I know you said you were waiting for your friend, but it's getting late and it’s cold, so I sent your dad up to get you.”  
“Ok Mom, I’ll see you soon.” Castiel sighs  
“Love you Sweetie”  
“Love you too…” Castiel hangs up the phone and checks his texts, nothing. He texts Dean letting him know what’s going on and that he’ll see him Monday at school.

Dean looks at his face in the rear view mirror, it’s pretty bad… Oh well, he’s got to get home fast, his dad is gonna be pissed that he’s so late. He speeds the whole way home and pulls in the drive. John is standing on the front porch waiting for him. Dean gets out and walks up to his father.  
“Why are you late?” John asks, he’s using the drill sergeant voice.  
“I ran into some trouble, it won’t happen again, sir.” Dean’s voice shakes slightly.  
“Damn right it won’t, boy! Get your ass inside right this… wait a minute, what is that?! That better be fucking dirt boy or I swear to god!” John grabs Dean by the jaw and looks at his face, Dean realizes much too late that he forgot to wipe off his makeup…  
“It’s nothing Dad, you're drunk” Dean croaks.  
“That ain’t nothing boy. This punk tattoos piercings and green hair thing was bad enough and now you're going and adding makeup to the mix?! I’ve had enough, you piece of shit kid! I wish you boys had died in the fire with your mother…” John screams as he drags Dean inside by the throat, “Whoever beat ya didn’t do a good enough job, but don’t you worry though I'll finish it” John whispers into Dean's ear, his breath stinks of whiskey.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is left to spend the day with his thoughts, so he takes a long nap to avoid that. Sam figures out a lot of things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter, but don't worry because i'm already starting the third part.  
> Also this part isn't quite as intense as the first part.

Present  
Castiel cries into his pillow for as long as he can until he falls asleep… When he wakes the next morning it’s to the smell of fresh coffee and bacon. He rubs his eyes, which are really swollen, had he been crying? Is he at his parents house? He looks around and remembers that he is in his apartment, and then the other memories from the night before start filtering their way back into his mind. Oh boy. He steps out of his room and looks into the small kitchen and dining area. Sam is seated at the table drinking a mug of black coffee and Dean is standing in front of the stove cooking bacon and eggs. Sam looks up at Castiel with a faint look of disdain and then looks back down at his cellphone that's laying on the table. Castiel grunts and gives a morning greeting to his house guests, “Good Morning” Castiel rumbles in a gravely morning voice. Dean turns and looks at Castiel with a smile that is warmer than the morning sun streaming in through the kitchen window. “Hiya Cassy!” he says brightly. Cas can feel his gut twist, any tiny amount of progress he had made in getting over Dean has been undone completely. He smiles a genuine smile at Dean and sits at the table across from Sam. Dean walks over and sits between them setting down three plates piled with eggs and bacon. Sam eats his food way too quickly and heads out to the living room and flicks on the television. Leaving Castiel and Dean alone at the table.   
“So, how’s life been lately?” Dean breaks the awkward silence, “I heard that you’re a cop now…” he forces a smile.  
“Things have been good, and I do remember your feelings about the police, Dean. You don't need to pretend that you like it.” Castiel replies.  
Dean smiles a bit, a real smile now, “Yeah… I mean it is a corrupt system so anyone who willfully joins and supports it is taking part in that corruption…”   
“Dean!” Sam shouts from the couch rolling his eyes, “Some of our closest friends are local police.”  
Dean draws his brows and sticks his tongue out at his brother, “Yeah, I know. Individuals may not be totally bad but as a whole the police serve the ruling class, not the people.”   
Castiel clears his throat and Dean looks at him and gives that little half smile, “Sorry man, it's just the truth… I didn't mean to be rude.” Dean apologizes.   
“It’s very much okay, Dean.” Castiel smiles at Dean “I remember you telling me these things before… I want to help facilitate change. I was hoping that I could do the job, but for the people. People like you…” Castiel trailed off.  
“If anyone can do it, it's you, Cassy.” Dean smiled a sad little smile and Castiel regretted mentioning that Dean had anything to do with his career choice.   
“Well, anyways… breakfast was really good, was there food in the fridge?” Castiel couldn't ask about how Dean’s life was going… he already knew, not good. Dean seemed to welcome the conversation change.  
“ Nah, Sammy ran to the store to grab some stuff, but don't worry about it, it's the least we could do since you're letting us crash here.” Dean smiled, and Castiel’s heart skipped a little.  
After sitting and smiling at each other like idiots for a moment Castiel abruptly stood. “I’m gonna go and take a shower.” He announced and walked into his room. As he gathered his work clothes he silently cursed himself for having the audacity to look at Dean like that, after all he had put him through. Castiel still wasn’t sure why Dean had come to him and trusted him after all he’d been put through. He locked the bathroom door and started the shower. As he stepped under the warm water he let his head drift. 

Approx. 16 months earlier…  
Monday at school Castiel didn't see Dean all day. At the end of the day as Castiel got his things around to head to practice he saw that familiar head of green hair hurrying down the hall. Why was Dean going right past him, and why was he facing away like that? Castiel furrowed his brow and reached out to grab Dean’s arm and get his attention, but quickly recoiled in horror when Dean looked up at him, his face covered in nasty bruises and scabs where cuts on his face were healing. Dean turned away and quickly left Castiel standing there mouth agape. He felt like he was going to vomit on the tiles. Then he saw Sam heading to practice.   
“Hey, Sam! Wait up a minute!” Castiel called out. Sam gave him a dirty look, what was that about Castiel thought, aren't they friends? Castiel catches up with Sam, “Hey, what happened to Dean?” Sam stops abruptly in the middle of the hallway and turns on his heel to face Castiel.   
“Where were you when the game ended?” Sam bit out, he’d always had a hot temper.  
“What do you mean?” Castiel looked at Sam with confusion and worry. Sam shook his head.  
“Where were you?!” Sam shouted angrily realization began to dawn on Castiel, and he started feeling sicker.  
“Sam what happened after the game?”   
“Ask Michael.” Sam deadpanned and walked away.

Castiel’s feelings grew from horror to burning anger as he rushed to practice, he didn’t even change. His teammates looked at him with confusion as he walked across the field in his school clothes. Michael stood by the water coolers, his helmet sitting near his feet. He hears a voice shouting at the back of his head “What did you do to him, you piece of shit!?!” and before he can comprehend what's going on Castiel grabs him by the shoulder and spins him around. Michael looks at Castiel with confusion and just as the realization begins flashing across his face everything goes black. Castiel punched Michael square in his jaw, one punch and Michael crumpled at Castiel’s feet. After that everything feels blurry, Castiel can feel his body shaking as he lets out heaving sobs. His teammates pull him away from Michael, he looks down as they roll over Michael’s limp body, a bruise already blooming on the side of his face. Castiel is responsible for all this violence, all of this pain. He knew what the other guys were like and he still asked Dean on a date, he put Dean in danger. And now one of his own teammates lay unconscious on the ground. “What have I done?” Castiel chokes out before collapsing onto the ground. Everything spinning until it finally faded into nothing.

Present  
Castiel turns the water off in the shower and reaches up and touches his face. Are these tears or just water? Castiel buries his face in his towel, it doesn't matter. He dresses quickly, because he’s running behind. On his way out the door he waves in the general direction of his guests. He hops in his car and speeds off.  
Dean watches Cas drive off out the window. This has all been so weird, Dean knew that Cas blamed himself for some of what happened, but he didn’t realize how bad it really was. Cas cried last night and he and Sam could hear him sobbing in the shower. Did Cas blame himself for everything that happened? Did that include John’s actions? Dean shook his head, Dad had always been like that, it had nothing to do with anyone else. Dean poured himself another mug of black coffee and decided he should tell Cas that it isn’t his fault. Until then Dean would make himself busy, he looked around the apartment, you could tell this was a bachelor pad, Dean chuckled to himself and set about washing dishes and cleaning things up a bit. He went out to the Impala and grabbed the Army cot out of the trunk. He went into a small room that he guessed to be an office or second bedroom, it was totally empty other than a couple boxes against one wall. He set up the cot in the one corner, Sam could sleep there and Dean would take the couch. Dean hoped that Cas wouldn’t mind him moving things around, he was sure that he wouldn't.  
After a while Dean was a bit tired so he decided to lay down for a bit, he walked over to the couch and looked at his brother who had found himself a bag of chips and was stretched out across it. Dean smirked and mussed up Sam’s hair, Sam swatted at Dean's hand and grumbled something unintelligible. Dean chuckled and went into the small room and layed down on the cot, he needed to get some sleep. He had a lot that he preferred not to think about. 

Approx. 16 months earlier…  
When Dean got to school on Tuesday everyone seemed to be looking at him weird… more weird than normal for sure. He shook his head and shrugged, it doesn't matter what people think of him, never has. On the way past Cas’s locker he glances over hopeful that he’d see him, but he wasn't there, strange. Dean continued his day as normally as possible with everyone fucking staring at him, they probably were looking at his bruises… whatever, it doesn't matter. At the end of the day Cas is not at his locker again.   
Dean starts to walk towards the doors when the guidance counselor, Miss Bradbury walks up and taps him on the shoulder, “Hey, Dean would you come to my office for a moment?” she smiled a bright smile, but Dean knew her and he could tell something was up… he and Miss Bradbury were friends, she was there for him when he began to question his sexuality, she had experience in that area as a lesbian herself. She was also there for him with problems with his dad, he wouldn't tell her that John was hitting him though, she could tell, but unless he confirmed there was nothing she could do. Dean knew if they went into foster care he and Sam could be separated. They rounded the corner and approached the door of her office, she opened the door and they entered, she shut the door behind her, not a good sign. She took a seat behind the desk and gestured for Dean to do the same at the front of the desk. She clears her throat and begins.  
“We have a lot to talk about Dean, but first is there anything you want to tell me about?”  
Dean shrugs, “No, not that I can think of?”  
She nods “Ok, well, first things first, we have some security camera footage from the game and we were..” Dean interrupted her “No! Anything from that night needs deleted or destroyed or something. I can’t have people seeing that.” Dean said almost frantically.  
“OK,” she answered calmly, “Are you sure? We could get the police involved and those boys would get in very big trouble.”  
“No, they would tell everyone that I'm not straight…”   
“Ok, that’s up to you, but there's something else.” she leveled her eyes with Deans, “It’s also kind of serious…”   
“Ok, spit it out then.” Dean said.  
“Well last night at football practice there was an altercation with one of the boys who attacked you.”  
“Not Sam!?”  
“Not Sam. It was Castiel… He attacked Michael and knocked him unconscious in front of everyone. He has been kicked off the football team and suspended for two weeks.”  
“Oh, oh no, why would he do that…” Dean trailed off, football meant everything to Cas, he had scholarships, that's how he was going to college.  
Miss Bradbury continued, “He won't get in legal trouble because Michael doesn't want people to know why Castiel attacked him, he would also be removed from the team. I’m sorry Dean I know this is a lot… But I’m concerned about the possibility that this gets back to your father, and I think you should reconsider your silence on his treatment.”  
“No offense but that would not help, I’m about to age out and I’ve gotten in trouble with cops a few times for graffiti and stuff so I'd go to a home for troubled teens or whatever.. I’d be separated from Sam and if anyone found out I wasn't straight? I don't even want to think about the possibilities…” Dean huffed and looked out the window behind her head, “I’ll save up money and leave when I can afford too, I’ve already almost bought the car off my dad.”  
Miss Bradbury sighed, Dean was right, no matter what his situation would be bad and dangerous, “Ok Dean… Tell your boyfriend not to get into anymore fights for me…”  
“He’s not my boyfriend.” and with that Dean left the room and shut the door behind him. He couldn't stay with Cas something bad would happen, Michael would make sure of it. Dean walked down to the main office and announced “I’m dropping out!” and walked out to his car, he would never step foot in that school again, now he had to get to work…

Present  
Dean woke up from his nap and checked his phone, a missed call from the Roadhouse, he should let Ellen know that he’s ok and will be back to work very soon. He walked out into the living room and noticed a bunch of cardboard boxes. He looked at Sam, who was still sitting on the couch, and Sam smiled.   
“I went back to the house and got all our stuff!” Sam said excitedly. Dean looked at him still with that questioning look. “Don’t worry Dean, I asked Cas, and he said it was alright…”  
Dean sighed, “I guess, but we are going to have to find our own place, and soon. I’ve got to get back to working.”  
“Dean, I already figured it all out, I talked to Cas and-” Dean cuts him off.  
“What do you mean? And since when were you and Cas on speaking terms. Another thing: When on earth did you have time to talk to him?” Sam laughs and continues,  
“Check the time Dean, it's 5:30 at night Cas gets back from work at 4:00. He and I talked and figured out a lot of stuff, and decided that we can stay here and pay half the rent. He said it would work out well since he wanted extra money to take up his ‘dream job’ of beekeeping.” Dean’s mouth hung open for a moment before he shut it and just said “Oh.”  
“Yeah, also Cas and I figured out what exactly happened that caused dad to find out, but there's a lot that you two need to talk about so I’ll let you guys figure that out.” Sam smiled and got up and started moving the boxes into the room with the cot. Dean just blinked a few times and settled onto the couch… if he and Cas were gonna talk things out then it would be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, I'm working on the third part so stay tuned <3

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you liked this, I'm currently working on a second part <3


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